Confidence Resolve

By all legal standards Lindsey is old enough to babysit her sisters. And I'm loving it. Daniel and I can go out, I can run errands, go to the grocery store, what have you, and not have to arrange for and pick up a babysitter. It's beautiful. So, a few days ago I take advantage of this legal status and run up to buy some last minute things for Achievement days. Maybe I was gone for 45 minutes. When I get home, Rachel and Gracie are out playing in the front yard, with neighbors (whose parent's are dutifully supervising) and having a lovely time. I go and tell Lindsey that she can't leave the little ones outside by themselves. Lesson learned. Then, about 20 minutes later Daniel drives up and the neighbor stops him and explains that his two young girls were outside by themselves and they had seen me drive up, implying and assuming that I had left my 2 and 5 year old babies at home alone. Daniel explained that Lindsey was home, but I felt awful and embarrassed. And I feel that I need to go door to door apologizing for my immorally-relaxed mothering habits. This brings me to the idea that I hate feeling that I always need to apologize because I don't meet others' expectations or standards. Yet I constantly feel it, but not in a way that changes me. So I resolve to quit feeling guilty because I don't meet someone's standards or if my weaknesses happen to by another's strengths I am not going to feel any less of a person around them. I don't want to be defined by my weaknesses even if I think other's may define me that way. I don't want to have another's approval or lack of approval change how I feel about myself. I want to have enough confindence in my strengths, in who I am that I don't compare myself or try to acquire (or pretend to have) the talents or expectations of the people I am around. I want to have enough confidence that without saying it I can think things like: If you had any idea how good my kids are you wouldn't reprimand my mothering skills in the least. And then feel confidently that they don't quite see the whole of things. Is that wrong?