Colored Glasses?

1: I remember telling someone that I felt completely inadequate around a certain group of people, to which I was chastened for wearing "colored glasses". (I have been told that I wear rose colored glasses, only seeing the sweet and rosy, but I don't think this was the implication). He was blatantly pointing his finger at me and my own feelings of inadequacy which, he claimed, have nothing to do with the specific group of people. Okay, interesting I thought. Maybe these people really aren't critical of me, it's just that I am critical of myself. Seems like an good idea because it has an easy solution: I could adjust my own feelings and have a delightful experience with this group of people. Worth a try. (And I swear I have tried. I really have. I don't know why I always seem to break into tears when I'm with this group).

2: A lady was telling me about the prejudices she feels as a Latino. She says she gets dirty looks and a lot of people don't trust her or think she is the nanny rather than mother to the 5 children that surround her. To this I thought, it has nothing to do with your being a Latino, it has to do with your kids being completely out of control and destructive. (It was probably good I didn't voice this). She wanted to place the blame of all her troubles (which include child protective services being called to her home) on prejudice. Similar story: a man who made a bid to work on our addition told me that often the inspectors would refuse to pass off his work because he is Latino.

3: I didn't vote for Obama, but I was strongly impressed by the historical factor of his election. What a great example of the American dream. And truth be told, the more I have heard the more optimistic I am feeling (one interviewee said that Obama would govern from the middle (not the left) which was encouraging. I also think he realizes that some of the "promises" that were made may (gratefully) not be easily pushed through. I also am buoyed up by checks and balances and strong advisors (though they are majority democratic (can you have a parentheses within a parenthises?)). One thing that enthralled me was that the people who thought the election of a black man was improbable was by in large the black population. This leads me to question, are we really that much more tainted by our view of prejudices against us than any actual prejudice? Do we so naturally place blame outside ourselves? It's much easier, then we don't have to take responsibility, it's not us, which how nice is that; I am being treated this way because of someone else's lack of ability to look past appearances. Repentence? That's for the prejudiced guy.

We visited North Carolina last month and I fell in love. That is a beautiful place. I mentioned to Daniel that I would love to live there . . . if they were not so anti-Mormon. Is this my own perception? Is this even the same thing? How about the Prop 8 people putting blame on the church? I have a cousin who lives in the bay area who has lost friends because of her support for prop 8. I know of people who have been afraid to go to church because of the back lash. It seems to me like it's prejudice in the name of prejudice: I will not accept you because you do not accept me. But I don't view the Mormons as the reason the prop passed. There were many churches and organizations for prop 8. But we were singled out because . . . because . . . because many people are already wary of us. We're an easy target. A lot of people don't want to accept us as main stream (which I blame for the fact that Mitt Romney did not get further). They want us to be un-acceptable. And guess what? I don't think it is always the glasses we wear. Am I wrong? Am I having inaccurate feelings of being prejudiced against because I am Mormon? Or because I am not that nice looking of a person? Or because I am American? Or Republican?

I hope that voting in a black president will help in resolving other prejudices. I heard an interview that I loved about criticizing Obama because he was Muslim. The interviewee responded something to the effect of --wouldn't that be great if a little Muslim boy thought it were possible for him to become the president of the United Sates. That we were that far beyond the views of prejudice and could vote in a person for his character and not his religion. Everyone could be eligible.--

I think prejudice is a battle that has to be attacked from both sides. Perceptions are not always wrong, though often influenced by self thought. I have no doubt that prejudice is alive and well. I also have no doubt that--the more we are willing to be comfortable with ourselves, have a positive self-image, accept who we are in the moment, even if there is so much more we hope to become, embrace our heritage even if there are things we would change--the more prejudice will fail. And I can wear those rose colored glasses that I have been accused of wearing with any group I am with, but they won't need to be colored any longer, only by my choosing.